LOST BOY

song: lost boy by ruth b.

340/365 // i might be in love with the moon

340/365 // i’ll promise that you’ll never be lonely
There was a time when I was alone
Nowhere to go and no place to call home
My only friend was the man in the Moon
And even, sometimes, he would go away, too

340/365 // sprinkle me in pixie dust and let me to believe
Neverland is home to Lost Boys like me
And Lost Boys like me are free

340/365 // always on the run

340/365 // “away from all of reality"
You are now my home sweet home
Forever a Lost Boy at last

340/365 // i am in love with the moon
There was a time when I was alone
Nowhere to go and no place to call home

SLIVER MOON

Just a glimpse.

339/365 // sliver moon at 16:52
peek venus in alignment

WALK ON.

song: can’t go back now by the weepies

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on.
One foot in front of the other. An impossible task, I know. But we do it anyway.
In the end, we’ll wish we were somewhere else. But we’ll stay anyway.

331/365 // I’ll see you after.

It will feel like we’re all alone. But we’re not. We are — both — on the other side.
Waiting it out, walking on.
When you can’t take one more step, picture stardust, a rising moon surrounded by inky black and walk on.

You won’t know it, but I’ll be doing the same. Trading pavement for prairie grass.
Wishing on the same dark sky.
Waiting it out, walking on.

331/365 // I’ll be here.

The light might fade. The easing strength may wear thin.
But neither light nor strength will completely diminish. It does not disappear.
It feels farther from reach. It feels like that impossible step.
But, it lingers, pulling on that tether. Echoing a song, whistling on the wind, sharing the same thoughts.
It lingers in dark. It lingers in light.

So walk on, walk on, walk on.

Take up space. Say what you need, out loud. Say it to the sky, to the wind, until you’re heard.
You can hold both. The dark and the light. I know, because, I do, too.
And I know because you do. And in this, we never have to be alone, even when walking alone.
So walk on, walk on, walk on.

And I’ll see you after.

SOMEWHERE.

Somewhere out there is a book with forgotten words.

Somewhere hidden away in the inky black of night, lay some of those words. Just under soft gray clouds, dancing behind stars and planets.

Somewhere in the vast navy blue of ocean waves, turning over and over, a few phrases sink.

Somewhere along the prairie grass, there’s a thought or two hidden in the wind. It howls and still the words hide.

Somewhere deep in my chest cavity, under my rib cage, there are words etched into the thump and beat of my heart. Strangled and trapped; beating, raging, to escape.

Somehow, if you were to collect all these words and line them up... You’d know then. That I’m somewhere. That I’m somewhere else entirely. But you’ll never get to this somewhere.

And so my words live nowhere.

324/365 // in all scenarios and in all situations

327/365 // like long goodbyes from the lonely sound of alarms

HOLD MY BREATH, TAKE A DIVE.

I’ve had this song on repeat in my head for several days now.
That usually means it’s time to make it visual.

song: I Don’t Like You, Whatsoever by Major League

323/365 // I’ll walk the plank with my blindfold tied / I’ll never make it out of this storm alive

But I should note, I do like you all whatsoever, so don’t take it too personally. 🤘🏻

SOMETIMES.

Sometimes I cannot breathe and I don’t know why
Sometimes it feels like the weight of all existence is splayed out in front of me and there’s no way to understand any of it

Sometimes my stereo skips and I think it’s you calling
Sometimes I don’t think I’ll survive if you don’t

Sometimes I think I was given the ability to feel too much or nothing at all
and there is no inbetween and there is no balance

Sometimes I want so badly to say the exact right thing at the exact right time
Sometimes I try to eat something, take three bites, and throw it away

Sometimes I think I really can solve the problem
Sometimes I think I’m full of shit

Sometimes I think too much
Sometimes I don’t think at all

314/365 // staring at a dead end now; looking for another way out

315/365 // I’ll try again

312.

Please, just let me stay in the light.

312/365 // chasing

312/365 // waiting for alignment

ALL I KNOW IS WOE.

song: america (you’re freaking me out) by the menzingers

311/365 // a visual representation of a feeling of a panic attack

311/365 // with all of my anger, I scream and shout / america, i love you, but you’re freaking me out

311/365 // can’t you recognize truth from clever lies?

CYCLES.

I don’t know.

306/365 // cycles, vol. 34

306/365 // cycles, vol. 34, v2

307/365 // just make sure you get my good side when i go

303

I had so much to say, the colors in my head sway.

303/365 // I heard the wind crying out, “I will never come to save you”

303/365 // I saw the sky just tumbling down and the darkness shining through

303/365 // And everything was burning red - but you were still just navy blue

Something happens when I close my eyes. I fell in love with a blurry sky.

303/365 // And I know it’s true, I see the colors in my head
I know it’s blurry, I think something is wrong because I really love it.

song: navy blue by mat kerekes

295

stay.

295/365 // dead wrong, your arms fell off

266

266/365 // hoping for a crooked number

249

Quit wasting the sunlight, it’s always the right time.

249/365

249/365

231

231/365 // cardis bay

227

227/365 // cut a six inch valley through the middle of my soul

227/365 // oh, oh, oh, i’m on fire

220

song: home is such a lonely place by blink 182

220/365 // i love the lightnin’ but hate the rain

220/365 // tomorrow’s frightenin’ but not today

220/365 // i wish i could slow down time

but not enough to slow you down

216

song: you don’t know what you’ve got by blink 182

216/365 // stuck in life’s waiting room

216/365 // always so close to goodbye

216/365 // you can write my epilogue

Disclaimer: I’m totally fine, have just loved this song since it was released and finally created visuals that felt right for it. That ending bridge at about 2:11 hits that spot in my brain that tickles my ear and alters my brain chemistry and that’s how I know a song needs a photograph.

213

song: acoustic #3 by goo goo dolls

213/365
the least they ever gave you
was the most you ever knew

206

listen to: death grip by andrew mcmahon in the wilderness

206/365 // sometimes, it looks just like a movie.

206/365 // this kind of stuff just doesn’t exist

206/365 // or maybe it does

MUNDANE TO ORANGE

192/365 felt a bit surreal as a storm approached a very tiny town along the river. My usual “tracker” was unavailable so I told my brother where I was.

Me: “I’ll check in by 8:30, otherwise you’re on dead body duty. ✌🏻”

Brother: “Okay! Just don’t die.”

As I walked around, the storm continued it’s approach. I visited a small dock, maybe the term is marina? For it’s size, it had… just a ton of boats docked. All sorts of sizes, names, and fanfare attached. It didn’t feel like the midwest. Rather, like somewhere more south, somewhere sinister. A familiar scene kept popping into my mind as I framed shot after shot. It was from this show: Bloodline. I never finished it. It was series… A family who kept killing each other? It’s foggy now. Google says: A sudden tragedy unsettles the Rayburn clan. While searching for evidence in his case, John finds something disturbing from the family's past.

The show was super suspenseful and beautifully filmed but kind of hard to watch. I don’t think I ever finished it. Sometimes I stop watching shows, movies, or reading books when I like how the story is right then…You get to a part and you know something awful is about to happen, a plot twist… It’ll change everything. No. No, thank you, not today. And so I abandoned it and move on. Anyway, I did not die so my brother escaped dead body retrieval duty. We’re tighter than the Rayburn clan.

192/365

192/365

192/365

193/365

193/365

194/365
I think I might like the color orange.

196/365 // heat me up; cool me down

197/365 // vacancy
It wasn’t a portal to Narnia, I checked, thoroughly.